7 Tips to Hepl Your Child Confidence
3. Praise, praise, praise.
Take the opportunity to celebrate every achievement, big or small. Praise your child for a good effort to complete an assignment. Praise your child for learning a new skill. Praise your child when he shows interest. Praise your child when he shows drive. Praise your child for anything that you would like to encourage.
Praise has to be sincere, of course. Praise has to be accompanied by enthusiasm. It has to feel good.
Before my son, Eric, was 2 years old, we started taking piano lessons together. I have always wanted to learn to play the piano, but my parents did not make it available to me. So now I saw an opportunity. Our scheduled lessons started with Eric, and when Eric was done I got my lesson.
The piano teacher used to praise me lavishly. She told me how talented I am. She told me that adults, when learning to play the piano, usually are much slower than I am, that I am learning so fast, that I have a natural ability. Well – I loved going to these lessons. I enjoyed the lessons. I was very enthusiastic about learning to play the piano. Obviously, if the praise worked so well for me, an adult, wouldn’t it work wonders for a child?
4. At the end of the day,
when you tuck your child to bed, discuss the day’s events with your child. Ask the important question: Tell me about the good things that happened today. Make sure the last thoughts of your child, before he goes to sleep, are the good, positive experiences of the day. Make sure you praise him for something he did today, some achievement. End the day on a positive note. This will also insure that you haven’t forgotten to praise your child where praise is due.
5. Write down a few positive affirmations for your child.
Good examples for affirmations are: “You are so smart, and getting smarter every day”. Or “You are learning more and more every day”. Affirmations have to be written in the present tense, in positive format (“I am strong and healthy”, instead of “I am not sick”). Think of your child’s challenges at the time, or if your child had a bad experience, write an affirmation that will negate the negative experience. (Remember – you write it in a positive format).
Repeat the affirmations to your child, 3 times each. 2 to 3 affirmations at a time are plenty. If your child cooperates, teach him to say the affirmations to himself. You can do this during the day, and at bed time. Early morning at the time your child wakes up is also a good time for affirmations. It is a good idea to read the affirmations into a recording device, and let your child listen to them at his convenience, or while you are driving, waiting in line, or just resting.
6. Your child learns about the world and about himself from you,
and from the community that he is in. Teachers, classmates and friends can also easily affect your child’s confidence. It is a good idea to make sure, to the best of your ability, that your child is in a positive environment.
If your child is very young, make sure all others who take care of him are also aware and considerate of your child’s confidence. When you choose a day care facility for your child, or a baby sitter, make sure you choose a positive environment. If your child is older and goes to school,
it is a good idea to meet your child’s teacher early in the school year, and make sure they are positive, gentle and respectful. You can specifically bring up the issue of confidence and ask them to support your child’s confidence. It is always good to choose a teacher for your child who is cooperative, a teacher who will work with you for the benefit of your child.
7. Make sure your child knows he can discuss with you any issue that is on his mind.
This way, if something negative happens, you will be able to help your child cope with it in a positive way, instead of creating a painful memory that may affect your child for the rest of his life.